Yeah, I formula feed my baby, get over it—I have!
This is the first
time I've publicly admitted that I don't breast feed. Fear of being
judged and the overwhelming feeling of guilt were the reasons I kept quiet
about this topic. I studiously avoided all conversations about breast feeding,
about feeding altogether in case someone asked. Notice how this is past
tense.
I no longer feel
guilty, nor do I feel ashamed. I know that my attempt at breast feeding
was flawed and with the benefit of hindsight there were definitely things I
could have and should have done differently. The plain and simple fact is
that it didn't work out for us and I won't waste any more time lamenting the
fact.
What I don't need
is a bunch of other women telling me I am harming my baby.
See, this is what
I *really* don't get. Why are other women so concerned about the choices
another mother makes? Be it attachment parenting (which by the way, is a
term I hate because it suggests that if you don't co-sleep, carry your infant
around in a sling and breastfeed until the child is 6, then you are therefore detached
from your baby), a regimented routine, or you a pick and choose a mixture of
different parenting styles that suit you as a mother and your child.
There is no
emotion stronger than a mother's love. Is this somehow multiplied because
you won't buy a pushchair? I doubt it. Looking from the other
angle, what the fuck is so bloody bad about choosing to breast feed a child
beyond 6 months or a year? Why do women get so het up about this, it's
not like it's their boobs, or their baby. Why are they letting this
bother them? And if they don't like the sight of a woman breast feeding in public then they should look the other way.
Different women
become different mothers. So long as the child is fed, loved, cherished,
supported and encouraged what the hell does anything else matter?
I am sick and
tired of reading press articles and blog posts about how we should be raising
our children. Sick of the competitiveness and superiority that some women
hold. Sick of the condemnation because another mother does something you
find a bit weird.
Ladies, save your
vitriol for the people who don't care about their kids, don't feed them at all,
physically and sexually abuse them, make them live in squalor. or ignore them.
Whether you bottle
feed, co-sleep, baby wear, Gina Ford, extended breast feed, cloth nappy, no
nappy, feed your baby jarred food, make your own organic purees or are a baby led weaning fan, work, don't work, whatever —ignore the haters, get on with what works for you and your
family and stick a middle finger up at anyone who thinks their way of mothering
is better.
This post was inspired by an incredibly balanced post by Gappy.
