Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Guest Expat Bloggers - Bibsey Mama

It is time again for me to invite another fellow expatter to write a guest post for my blog, today we have Bibsey Mama who is a fellow Brit in Spain, residing somewhere up a mountain in Andalucia.   Bibsey Mama has decided to kill two birds with one stone in that she's decided that this guest post will also serve her currently A-Z blogging challenge as letter 'P'.   'P' of course, stands for 'playing away'.   So read this and then head over to Bibsey Towers to catch letters A-O and some other great posts as well.

Hello all you Very Bored readers. Today I am making the virtual journey from a blog high up in the mountains of Southern Spain to do a guest spot here in the rice fields of Catalunya. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little nervous. I am following in the footsteps of some pretty fabulous guest bloggers and not to mention our hostess herself  - whose dry humour and caustic wit often serve to assure me that I am not alone in my double bubbles of expatriotism and motherhood. I like her donkey too. Thanks for having me.

And so, today I will be moaning about  the  problem of:

Match Fit Follicles
It is true that when it comes to way of life and quality of life here in southern AndalucĂ­a, there is very little to complain about. I have however, identified a problem with living in a place that, for more than half the year,  feels like it is in full-on and perpetual summer. When you are in it here, the summer feels like it will never end. It does of course, at which time we drag out the rugs to cover the cold tiles and huddle around the stove complaining about the cost of fuel...

Back to the problem. The problem is: attaining and maintaining a match fit bikini line for months on end. Not only do my follicles and my skin rebel, but I am just not that woman: a woman with the time, money and inclination to stay on top of it. Now, I am not going to say that I am cursed in this area. But neither am I blessed. The problem at hand is not out of hand shall we say... but the area becomes very tired very quickly. Tired, lumpy, bumpy and raw. In fact you could argue that there is created a problem much worse than the original problem, and one which shines out like a beacon lighting the way from the relative privacy of your towel, over there under the umbrella, to the poolside.

Accoutrements and other essential items for slash and burn bikini line care 

Even at very latest stages of the summer last year I was required to bikini-up (when I say bikini, I of course mean swimming cosie) and get by the pool. And. AND. With a child there is no backing out of it. There is no place to hide. Selfishly they must be accompanied, and even then it seems that the child may just want to fanny around at the side of the pool rather than in it, where I might lurk under cover of water, which, to add insult to injury, is around 20% Kiddie Wee  by Volume (KWBV). No, it is much more likely that I must dance a merry dance trying to second guess her poolside moves while gaining as much unwanted exposure for my body and poor beleaguered bikini line as any woman (cash poor, time poor) should reasonably be expected to bare.

By the end of the season (actually by mid-season if I'm honest) it needs a rest - to hibernate shall we say. It is the only part of my body that is crying out for winter, when the hope is that I might just back off with the effing tweezers and other accoutrements of follicular torture.

Having said all of that of course, we do love the lovely sun and lovely friends with a lovely big pool. We have it all to look forward to and although the weather this April has been a bit schizophrenic so far, I feel that we may have turned a corner. It is a beautiful sunny day today and we have a clear view down through the mountains to the sea.

Oh dear, I can feel my follicles shrinking as I type... spring cleaning is imminent.

I know that I am not alone in this. What seasonal challenges are the biggest pain in the arse for you? Is it lips as dry as the autumn leaves, chapped hands in winter or split ends in the summer?