Monday, February 13, 2012

Just Say No to St Valentine's Day

Well, you didn't expect all hearts and flowers here did you?  If you did you clearly haven't read my blog before.  Yeah, yeah I am a miserable git, but for fucks sake if I see another Valentine's Day blog post in my g-reader I may well be violently sick.  

Surely I can’t be the only one out there in Blogsville who thinks Valentine’s Day is for mugs and finds the whole faux-romance aspect of it thoroughly nauseating? Can I?

Why does anyone over the age of 14 still buy into it?  Why do we let the likes of florists, restaurateurs, confectioners etc. charge us extortionate amounts of money for something we can buy at the normal price the day before or after?

Why does receiving a hastily bought card from your husband of 10 years matter?  Especially when it’s highly likely that he won't have spent an hour pouring over each and every card in Clinton's until he found the one with the perfect message inside.  If anything you should probably consider yourself lucky he didn’t buy you an Asda Smartprice one for 7p.

Your bloke would rather buy one of these!

Does that £50 bunch of red roses really mean that all is well in the garden of love?  No, it means that £50 has been wasted that could have been better spent on an outfit or hairdo, anything really that won't be rotten and wilted in a week's time.

The biggest bug bear of all about Saint Sodding Valentine's Day is that it isn't romantic.  No, Sir, not one bit!  Having some exec at Hallmark's tell us that we need to have a bit of quality time with our other's halves once a year is the absolute opposite of romantic.

Romance should be spontaneous; an unexpected gesture of affection.  Not a "quick better get booked into the All-You-Can-Eat Valentine's Special Buffet at the local Chinese restaurant or the Missus will sulk for a week" affair that it has comically turned into.

I’m not saying that you and your partner should be romantic every day, or week or whatever.  Some people are naturally romantic, others—like most blokes I’ve ever dated—are not. Forcing the issue just feels false and incredibly underwhelming; I’d rather have nothing than a bashed up bunch of flowers from a petrol station forecourt bought on the way home.

We haven’t ‘done’ Valentine’s Day for years, we’ve long given up pretending that it matters and if we don’t play along it means something is wrong with our relationship.  We have a great marriage and don’t feel the need to line the pockets of businesses to prove it to one another.

How do you feel about it, are you a hopeless romantic who would be mortified if you didn’t receive a 2 foot high satin padded card with a vomit inducing poem, or like me and couldn’t give a shit?