Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Post Partum Observations

So it's almost 2 weeks now since I fired a small ginger thing out of a hole not quite big enough, so I thought I'd share with you some of my post-birth observations.

1.  There are bones in my feet, not just big squashy marsh-mallowy, spongey things—proper bones.

2.  I have rather nice ankles, they too have bones.

3.  Pubic hair is wild and free and plentiful, French-plaiting on Saturday night.

4.  Catalan mamas and grannies can sniff a newborn from about half a kilometre and will actually break into a run to catch up with you.

5.  Catalan mamas and grannies are unable to coo over a baby without shouting.

6.  My daughter wears a look of shock and bewilderment when cooed over by shouty Catalan mamas and grannies.

7.  Breast pumps are not fun, despite what t'husband thinks.

8.  Meconium is much easier to chisel off a girl's bum than a boy's.

9.  Maternity wards are the worst place in the world to get any rest.

10. Fear of taking that first dump is almost as bad as the fear of giving birth.

11. Trying to take a cute picture of ickle tiddy feet is nigh on impossible if the owner of said feet is awake.

12. Of course she's a girl - you think I'd dress a boy like this?

13.  How big my boy is now, an absolute giant.