You see, I quite like t'husband, he still has his own hair and teeth, makes a mean curry and his feet don't smell, I think I've done alright in the marriage department, I genuinely have no complaints. On the rare occasions that he goes out of town on important
I appreciate that my email address of 'veryboredhousewife' makes me an easy target, but my boredom comes from living in the back of beyond and having no decent shopping scene. It doesn't stretch to the bedroom department, if it did I might have the email address 'verysexuallyfrustratedhousewifewhosgaggingforit', you get my drift?
So, no I don't want to join your club. No, I don't want to get my revenge back on t'husband. No, I don't want to meet other bored married housewives, nor for that matter—whilst we're on the subject—do I fancy swinging, dogging (have you tried Stan Collymore?), or any other form of sexual pastime with complete strangers from Milton Keynes*. I don't even want to learn three questions that turn women on, although I was sorely tempted in the name of research to click on that. I know what questions would turn me on—'Would you like to go and buy some new shoes?', 'Fancy a trip to New York?' and 'Do you want me to run you a bath while I tidy up?'. I'm willing to bet a crisp €5 note that the questions will differ somewhat...
|I'd rather watch Masterchef...|
*I'm sure that members of these clubs come from other areas as well as Milton Keynes.