"I try not to have too much of a potty mouth, but if the mood suits it, I will use it. If it offends you, sorry - perhaps this isn't the blog for you. I also write A LOT about sex, not in a porno way, but more like a 'this is what happened to me' kind of way - so if words like Dildo, Vagina, Penis, Orgasm, Cum, Condom, Masturbate offend you, then this DEFINITELY isn't the blog for you."
I asked her on Friday night via the wonderment that is twitter if she'd do a Guest Post for me. She came back immediately and said she'd love to, and what kind of post would I like? I replied,
Oh. My. Lord! I spat my Sunday morning tea out all over the bed covers just reading the title of her post— not to mention being somewhat educated. So sit back, enjoy, and then go and check out her blog and follow her. She's brilliant but not for the faint hearted!
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To Squirt or Not To Squirt
Although I have gone through most of my post-pubescent life being extremely liberal about all things sex-related, it has been only recently that the concept of ‘squirting’ has become a common topic. Now, when I say common, it’s more like going from it never being discussed to being the topic of conversation on three separate occasions in the last couple months... for me, that classifies it as common.
A close friend of mine had a guy ask her at a bar, “Do you squirt?” Of course, she was utterly offended at the sheer class of this asshole that could only be likened to that of a Jersey Shore boy, but then upon relaying this story to me, she asked me...
“So... Do you?”
“Umm... not that I’m aware of! You?”
“Never! How does that work?”
So we put on our investigative thinking caps on and did some research. Apparently, every woman has the capacity to squirt when they have a G-spot orgasm. Oh really? So upon learning that tidbit of knowledge, I asked my husband, “Is it a turn on when a woman squirts?” to which he replied, “I think it would freak me out a little if I didn’t know to expect it, but I know a lot of guys think it’s hot.”
My curiosity got the better of me and I found a video online... but it wasn’t porn; it was an instructional video on how to make a woman have a G-spot orgasm and squirt. It was very “professional” and the guy who was demonstrating was, how should I say it? Very, very good at his technique! The girl was in complete ecstasy and at one point she was just convulsing concurrently because, as the instructor mentions, once it starts, the female body can generate multiple orgasms as if it was like starting a motor and then it runs on its own. Where the fuck do I sign up for that?
“You put your two fingers up like this and the other 2 out like that. Then go up and down, not in and out. It helps to place your other hand on top of her pelvic area.”
I must confess that this “instructional” video had me crossing my legs a bit. I brought in the video to show my husband... in bed. There we were – a married couple watching an instructional sex video on a laptop... and getting turned on. We tried for a little while, but according to the instructor we were missing a key element – grape seed oil.
I bought some this week on my usual grocery run.
Hot diggity. Gitty'up!
By popular request - http://www.redtube.com/15878
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