Tuesday, January 4, 2011

3 Reasons I Shouldn't Be Allowed Near A Kitchen

I've only been back in the country for less than 24 hours but it seems that me and the kitchen have not got off to an auspicious start this 2011.

Firstly and for reasons completely unknown to myself at the time, I thought I could save a bit of time on the morning we were due to fly back to England for Christmas by not washing-up.  "I know" I thought conspiratorially "I can just chuck 'em in the dishwasher".  Obviously I didn't think that 10 days of being in the dishwasher would result in the few pots that would have taken no more than 10 minutes to wash, dry and put away, would be covered in a fluffy white mould on our return.  Hmmm, odd that eh?

The second reason took a little longer to find - whilst preparing our evening meal (low fat lemon chicken & vegetables for the Big Momma Challenge) I discovered a small Joseph sized piece of salmon defrosting in the microwave.  The same piece, I suddenly remembered, that I had taken out of the freezer some 11 days ago.  My memory doesn't actually recall what I did feed my son that day but it certainly wasn't this particular piece of fish.

Alas, a Salmon like this one died in vain.

Thirdly, because these things always come in threes don't they, our kettle has died.  A minutes silence has taken place and a new shiny one has been purchased,* but is being driven over** with various other bits of ours next week by t'husband's business partner.   In the meantime we (or should I say I) have had to resort to boiling a pan of water on the hob, like what they did back in the olden days.  This of course works marvellously (if not a little slowly) until you decide to put the saucepan on the hob, with lid on to speed up the boiling process, but forget to actually put any water inside.

Yep, today I have burnt a saucepan of nothing, created a factory of cultures in my dishwasher and manufactured biological weapons in my microwave.  Tomorrow I'm not setting foot in the place, that's if I'm still alive.

* purchased I might add with my Christmas money, I really have become that sad that I bought myself a kettle for Christmas.

**  seriously, trying to buy a kettle in Spain - forget it!