La Casa Very Bored
T'husband will remain unable to locate the bathroom cleaning products.
I will have beaten both Joseph's and t'husband's score at Frisbee Dog on the Wii by May.
There will have been at least 4 plumbing failures by September.
No-one will win the lottery.
Some kind company will take pity on me and sponsor me to attend CyberMummy11 (yeah, yeah - cheap shot...).
Politics & World News
Vince Cable will spontaneously combust live in parliament in April, it will be the most downloaded youtube video ever.
The Conservative-Lib-Dem coalition will finally collapse in June following an argument between Cameron & Clegg as to which colour tie to wear for President Sarkozy's 'coming out' party.
The editor of the Daily Express will wet himself daily with excitement at having a new Princess to write about and will limit himself to just one Diana story a week.
In February Milan Manderic will buy out Spain and complete half of the unfinished apartment blocks before deciding to sell her off and buy Portugal instead, by November he will have moved onto Greece.
In March Italy's Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi will sensationally go a full month without being caught with his pants down.
Sarah Palin will launch a new summer fragrance called Something I Trod In; it will probably smell of chicken shit as well.
Sport
Because the year ends in a 1; Spurs will win the Champions League and we'll never hear the bloody end of it. Chas 'n' Dave will come out of retirement and release a medley of annoying Cockney songs around the old Joanna with Lord Sugar.
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| picture from www.chasndave.net |
England will lose the bid for the 2020 World Tiddlywinks Championship to Uzbekistan.
Sorry my lovely Australian blogging buddies but England will win the Ashes.
Some American baseball team will win the World Series
Music
Justin Beiber will finally stop trending on twitter in July, after a career-fatal restyling sees him lose that swept fridge look and develop some bum fluff. Teenage girls the world over will rip up their posters and turn their attention to One Direction as they launch their new covers of Westlife covers album.
Michael Jackson will release another posthumous album of shite songs that were never worth releasing whilst he was alive - oh wait... hang on... that may have already happened.
In November the Black Eyed Peas will release a track that doesn't make me turn my radio off immediately and declare "who buys this shit?"
Teenager Cher Lloyd will prove everyone wrong and a have a platinum selling album in which she raps over such classics as The Nolans' I'm In The Mood For Dancing, R.E.M's What's The Frequency Kenneth, and Elton John and Kiki Dee's Don't Go Breaking My Heart. In a complete U-turn I will be referring to her as the 'Pride of the Midlands'.
The Mystic Donkey is available for private readings (which consists of reading supermarket own brand coffee grinds and sniffing beds of manured straw), an incredibly vague prediction will be given free with every comment but a charge of €10 will be levied for a more in-depth personal one.
