I am a technophobe. No, really, I am. Not insofar as being unable to work a remote control (I can, just), getting to grips with a new mobile phone (RTFM), or logging on to the internet using WiFi (no plug needed – I figured that out).
No, what I really mean is that I abhor gadgets. The type that require a PhD in advanced pure mathematics just to switch the thing on, let alone work out how to get any benefit from it.
Example number one: the iPod touch. I gave this as a (very generous) present to my Other Half last year.
He. Loves. It.
I. Haven’t. A. Flippin’. Clue.
And not for lack of trying either. It just seems that my brain cannot link the screen touching thingy with the lack of a keyboard, and the rest just gets, well, lost in translation.
Example number two: the TV and DVD player. Granted, OH has set up a most complex web of functionality here, what with the CD player and the amplifier also being linked to the surround-sound system which works if you press this button and click that remote control (choice of four, mind you) and remember to turn the correct power on behind the unit (I just flick all the switches) and then ditch the surplus hand-held things in favour of just one which only works if you press another button somewhere else first and then if you want to change channel you have to ensure the setting on the knob on the box under the DVD player is turned to tuner and… and… and… Is it any surprise I do not watch much TV?
Example number three: the stop-watch, foot pod and HRM. That’s heart rate monitor for those of you unfamiliar with sporty terms.
Now, I have one of these. The very basic version. The one where I can push one button which starts the stopwatch, and the same again to stop it. Fabulous. I have also learnt how to synch it with my foot pod (to measure pace and distance covered) and my HRM. Sometimes I am successful in getting these all to work simultaneously, other times not. Recently it has been beeping quite a lot during training and no matter how many buttons I pushed, this continued throughout any swimming/cycling/running session.
Until I consulted the manual (again, as you do) and realised that I had inadvertently set lower and higher limits for my heart rate. Fall outside of these and the damn watch beeps away like a loon.
Which has its other uses as well. Now whenever I am confronted with technology that contrives to send me to gadget hell, OH can monitor my frustration by the number of beeps emanating from my person and rapidly remove said item from my hands and fix it.
So maybe gadgets do have a purpose after all. To get others to do the hard work.
