I am unable to go around unannounced to someone's house. The phrase 'I was just passing so I thought I'd pop in' would never fall from my lips. They'd be working, or annoyed that I'd drop by because they'd not washed up last night or they were watching their favourite TV program or something like that, wouldn't they? No, I need to be invited.
I have two emails sat in my in-box, one from last Christmas from a lovely friend who I haven't seen since my wedding 3 1/2 years ago, the second from the Christmas before from my old boss who I also haven't seen since my wedding. Why haven't I replied? Answer: I am waiting for something to write about. Something that I have done, I want to write them an email with some substance that doesn't read like small talk. Has this happened yet? Well yes probably a few times over but I forget all about it, and then I wait again until something else happens that seems worthy of their time to read.
I have a real aversion to the telephone. Given that most of my friends live in another country you would imagine that I would have got over this. No quite the opposite. I hate calling people, especially through Skype. I want to see them in the flesh not via a jiggly modem picture. A telephone call seems so stunted and staged, it's never felt natural to talk on the phone, the conversation never flows for me like it would do face to face. The telephone is for emergencies and for arranging where and when, and even then I'd rather do that by text.
I rarely update my public profile on Facebook with what I am actually doing. Mostly my profile update remains blank. To create an air of mystery? Hardly. Nope, it just doesn't occur to me to that my friends might actually be interested in what I am doing and would probably rather see that I have spent a day down the beach with Joseph than some dumb message cheering on a shite football team. After all I read all my friends profile updates, so I am interested in their everyday lives.
I can't really get into Twitter either, the polite bit of me (there is one honestly) doesn't like jumping into other people's conversations even though I know that's what Twitter is all about. I feel dumb posting 140 characters relating to what I've had for breakfast. Who wants to read that? Maybe it feels a bit like having to circulate at a party and say a little hello to everyone when I'd rather just sit in a comfy corner and have a chat and a laugh with just a few (any few will do I am not particularly choosy).
Finally after reading Heather's post about commenting on blogs, it has occurred to me that I must be a crap blogger as well. I am guilty of going for long periods of time without commenting on other people's blogs. Every now and again I will have a blitz, but mostly I just read and leave. Or leave a quite lame comment, like 'great post'. If it's personal post that I am commenting on I get greeting card syndrome. You know where you know you have to write something but it just sounds so lame and dull. A 'hope things get better for you soon' rather than something constructive and helpful.
Let me just say that I am not insular, shy or arrogant, well I hope not anyway. If you meet me in the flesh I will be perfectly pleasant and I think quite good company. I have concluded that I am just not good at sharing the everyday stuff. I've always struggled with small talk, with strangers I find it quite intrusive. I don't particularly like talking about myself, a mixture of embarrassment and thinking that I will be boring I guess. I am getting better at it, but I would much rather talk about someone else. This of course makes for a pretty shit & short email, a dull Facebook profile and a rather lurking or absent twitterer.
I am going to try and be a bit more open though, make more of a concerted effort with regards to my internet use. My facebook profile will be updated more regularly with more personal information. I will endeavour to comment more on blogs and will try my hardest to get back into Twitter. I might even get around to replying to those emails. I could always make something up couldn't I?
