Some 4 months on and the situation hasn't really changed much. In actual fact it's probably worse because we are further down the line. Joseph still won't speak Catalan and seems to be unable to understand his peers and teachers, even after 6 months of school and a full year at nursery before that. A meeting yesterday with his class teacher confirmed my fears that we were going backwards when she asked if he had a hearing problem. I answered no and why did she think that, to which she replied 'he doesn't look at me when I speak, he turns away'. I assured her that he doesn't have a hearing problem nor is it a defiant streak in him, but just purely because he hasn't got a clue what she's talking about so he tunes out and doesn't bother to listen. She told me she was concerned that the other children are starting to bully him because he won't (or can't) tell the teachers what's happening and others are just ignoring him, something I know is happening because I've seen this myself.
We put together a little action plan, Joseph would be moved next to a child with good speech skills, patience and importantly some affection for Joseph, thank you little Pau, and I would get Catalan TV rigged up at home. I will continue to take him to the playground after school so he gets the maximum exposure of playing with other children. Between us we would drill words with him, pointing out what everything is called (obviously my skills are somewhat limited here) and making sure he repeats it back. So far so good, he seems to like the new game of saying bufanda (scarf), gorra (hat) and jaqueta (coat) every time we put them on and I've dusted down my Catalan dictionary with a view to pointing more things out. The Catalan TV has been set up, surprisingly easily at that, if I'd have known we only needed a €6 cable I'd have done it years ago. Tonight at 6.30 there is an hour of cartoons, the Lion King and Shaun the Sheep amongst others in Catalan so I am looking forward to us watching those together. You never know I might even become fluent.
Of course watching a bit of telly and parroting a few words isn't going to make him bi-lingual overnight. I am guessing that a big part of the problem is that his English is nowhere near where it should be. He had very delayed speech (after 2) and still has a lot of pronunciation difficulties. We've put this down to there only being myself and t'husband around to learn from and also it just being 'one of those things', some kids develop their language skills early, some don't. He certainly isn't lacking in any other area. He loves numbers and counting, actually numbers are one of the few things he can say easily in Catalan, can write his name and most of his classmates names, knowing how each are spelt. He can complete complex jigsaws with relative ease and has an amazing memory so I know he doesn't have learning disabilities. The teacher herself said he's very intelligent and it's just the inability to communicate that's holding him back.
Upshot is, we just keep on carrying on. Hopefully when I revisit this post in a few months time I'll be able to say he has improved vastly and is a popular little boy.
**Update** Seems my initial choice of television programs to watch weren't up to much, neither had any speaking in them! Oh well there is always tomorrow...
22 comments:
It is very hard work to raise bilingual children. And although I haven't failed completely, my first one is not bilingual. She knows word and understands most of everything but she just won't speak much. The only thing I know is that it will take time. X
It must be really hard for all of you, hope the new strategy works! xx
I think you've got a great action plan together, and it already sounds like he's trying out new words. I know we all regret the day we sit them in front of a tv, but I have to be honest, if you pick the right programs then they really can help. My son is bi-ingual too - English / Dutch, I often feel he is 'out' of the dutch circle of kids and is seen as different, but he does have a strong personality and bags of confidence so doesn't feel this himself. Keep at it, I bet your little boy will come on in leaps and bounds with all the new ideas - and a nice kid to sit next too will be a great confidence booster for him too .
Oh, I do hope this all gets better. We are raising our kids bilingual, but it's so much easier with each parent speaking a different language. They learn from birth, not from moving time or school time.
Good luck!
Sounds like a good plan. Hope things improve soon, D x
That sounds like a really good plan of action. Shame his teacher isn't quite so pro-active I really hope things improve soon. Sure they will.x
Just a tip - TV doesn't improve language skills much unless you chat about the programme while it's on, get him to talk about what he sees, what happens next etc (in Catalan). I tried using German TV with my Spanish au pair son and it did sweet nothing to improve his very weak German, apparently because it doesn't require language interaction, and it's real language interaction that will do the trick. I'd also try not to worry too much about school - it's normal for children to have a "silent" phase when they are learning a second language and feel they're not yet able to fully communicate. It takes patience and understanding, and he shouldn't be pushed in the school environment at all, it can backfire. I'm sure you can get info on this by googling "silent phase".
Cartside - thank you for your invaluable insight. I can't speak Catalan so that isn't an option but I will limit how much TV he watches. He does seem to be enjoying repeating words now whereas he didn't before so hopefully he is coming out of his 'silent phase'. I will indeed google but maybe tomorrow when I don't have wine.... Your input on this subject is always very much appreciated. xx
Just sending a ((Hug)) as I know nothing of any use.
xxxxxx
Likewise, I know nothing of any use, other than to say that I remember reading your first post and really feeling for Joseph then, and that I will be thinking of you all and hoping the plan works.
our kids all had delayed speech issues; a disastrous experience at the speech therapist taught me that experts may not know any more than an observant thinking parent. the kids still have difficulty sometimes making eye contact when timid/unsure/insecure. probably same as me.
but i feel kids are going to do things in their own time as they need; we can only provide the opportunities, resources, and means to support their interests, but we cannot assure results. i agree that kids may go through a silent phase and may be resistant to what's provided for them (which is irritating but i've found use of threat makes things worse!).
keep going as you need: i get a lot of 'stop speaking french' but it hasn't stopped me; i do not have bilingual fluency, but i think something will filter through, somewhere. (ok, i'm hoping now, fingers crossed?)
Huge hugs, you are effing ace parents and joseph will 'get' the language thing in his own time. His speech in English came on all at once, fingers crossed catalan will do same. BTW catalan cartoons sound dire :) big loves xxx
The bilingual thing is really difficult and kids don't just 'pick it up' no problem.
Adam has been in a bosnian nursery for 18 months now, and it is really limited how much Bosnian he can speak. The local child pyscologist even wanted to talk to me because he didn't say anything at nursery. Luke, at 3, barely speaks a word of Bosnian either. I think they just tune it out. As we are going back to the UK quite soon, I'm not doing anything about it.
But one friend here who's child does now speak Bosnian really recommended having a Bosnian speaker go with her child to nursery for a couple of months to really emphasise what the different words were and essentially teach the language. She said that made all the difference to her daughter.
Good luck, it is difficult. Hugs. x
I only can only send (((hugs))). This is not something I have any idea about but it sounds to me like you've got a good action plan. Good luck.
Sending as huge hug and saying it will get better. Best thing is start talking Catalan a lot and mix it up with English. get him involved. You are doing all the right things!
I can only imagine how stressful this must be but good on you for talking it over with the teacher and coming up with a plan. It will probably happen all of a sudden and he'll just pick it up and run with it. Good luck! At least he's got a lovely mummy who wants to help him.
Just giving more hugs really. Incredibly frustrating and upsetting for you but I agree with Lax, he will get there xxxxxxxxx
Thankyou everyone for replying and I will take any tips and advice on board. Typically straight after my meeting with the teacher he has suddenly become quite fascinated with saying Catalan words so maybe he is just starting to get to grips with it all. Obviously it is going to be a long road and I may have to accept that it will take many years before his Catalan is at the level of his peers.
Much love. xx
All 5 of my kids are bilingual. We speak english at home and they learn hebrew i nursery/school/friends. Some of the kids had it easier than others. We moved back to Israel when my 4th child was 3 1/2 after 2 years in the States. If I tell you that for a full year, my son did not say a word in the nursery. He is brilliant, he understood everything, but did not have the confidence to talk. Towards the end of the year he whispered once or twice to the teacher but that's it. Not to worry, he eventually started talking hebrew and has not stopped (though he still whispers unless he is fighting with siblings)
I would just suggest that you not stress over it and never let any teacher or anyone else make you feel inadequate.
Hugs!
I'm still slightly confused as to why his teacher would have thought he had a hearing problem because he turned his head away when she spoke ......? Surely someone with hearing difficulties would concentrate harder on the face - lips. This is how my ex-next-door-neighbour of mine discovered her child DID have trouble with her ears when the play group lady noticed she only seemed to 'hear' when she did have eye contact. Mind you this was all in 'home' language of course but even so alot can be gleaned from someone's expression - I would think turning your head away from someone when they were speaking would normally mean that person was simply not interesting in any language.
My mother is convinced my no 3 is deaf because he doesn't listen to her. The truth is he just doesn't want to hear that he has to put the first game away before getting the next one out. He can hear a crisp packet from 2 miles away.
BTW - writing his and his friends' names at age 3? Your kid's a genius in my book. Good luck. You both sound lovely to me.
I too was raised Bi-lingual. I was 8 when we moved from Mexico to the States. It was difficult at first but kids are like sponges, they will absorb everything. Just be patient (I know, probably very frustrating at the moment) but sounds like you have a good plan and that's what matters the most, to have parents involved in their children's education.
Good luck and
Saludos,
A Mexican mommy living in Europe
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