Monday, February 1, 2010

John Terry, Unfaithful Footballers & Philandering in General

So once again an international sport star is gracing the front pages of the tabloids instead of the back. Once again his appendage has got him into trouble. Another wife with small children left stunned, trying to pick up the pieces of her shattered life. No doubt with the added pressure of the world’s gutter press on her doorstep. This time however it was different, John Terry hadn’t just shagged a couple of slappers looking for a quick kiss and tell story, no he’d already been there before and bought that particular t-shirt. This time he’d committed the mortal sin of shagging his best mate’s girlfriend. Bad? Yeah, but let’s put a cherry on top of this and make it a fellow England player.

John Terry is not the first England footballer to play away from home in the marital sense nor, I doubt will he be the last. Who can forget the story of Wayne Rooney and his penchant for older, much older, ladies of the night? He isn’t even the first England captain to be caught with his trousers down, David Beckham beat him to that with his fling with a future masturbator of pigs, sorry I forget her name and she doesn’t seem worthy of my time to google her. Ashley Cole, already unpopular in footballing circles for being a mercenary when he decided that Arsenal weren’t paying him enough and hot footed it over to Chelsea for a more appropriate salary, managed to make himself the most hated bloke in Britain for daring to cheat on the lovely Cheryl Cole. Man alive even Darren Byfield, a longtime journeyman of a footballer who now plays with lowly Walsall, cheated on his gorgeous and successful wife Jamelia whilst they were engaged.

Now the outcome of Terry’s indiscretions are yet to be decided both in terms of his marriage and whether he should continue to wear the Captain’s armband for the forthcoming World Cup in South Africa. I can’t help feeling that he will be absolved both by his wife and Fabio Capello (the England Manager). I am not going to debate on here whether he should or shouldn’t carry on being the England skipper, although I personally think the rest of the England Squad should decide whether they feel he can lead them on the pitch and not the tabloids.

What I want to talk about is the probably forgiveness of his wife. Because that’s what they all do isn't it. Why? Are their lifestyles so good that they can overlook such behaviour? They can’t be blind to it, I don’t buy that for a minute. If your husband is going to fashionable nightclubs on a Saturday night without you, chances are he’s going to be targeted by girls who just want to fulfil their desperate desire to be a WAG, even if it’s just for a night. At some point they are probably going to succumb. If they really weren’t that type of man then they would be at home putting the kids to bed or taking their wives out to a nice restaurant. It seems that it’s OK for them to publicly humiliate the wives, to disrespect them and their children for a few hours of fun with a blonde with fake boobs and a less than hidden agenda.

Back in the normal world, where our menfolk are unlikely to be the target of such ferocious women, what if the unthinkable happens? What would you or I do? Could you forgive a one night stand? An affair? What circumstances would allow you to work at the marriage and give it another go? For me personally I think that if a man is the type to have a one night stand then it will never be a one off occurrence. That he is probably a philanderer and a ladies man and not a lot will change that, so one strike and you’re out. An affair however, that’s a different story, it would depend ultimately on who it was with, the closer the person to me the less likely I would be able to get over it. Affairs are more complicated, I would wonder if I had done something to push my OH towards another woman. Even if I hadn’t, affairs are about genuine feelings and emotions and not just sex, it’s not that straightforward and I could maybe see me at least trying to work at my marriage if the affair had ended.

Back to world of the stupid, rich & famous, I hope Toni does divorce John and take him to the cleaners, maybe then a lesson will have been learned, wives might be less tolerant and footballers less inclined to behave so bloody badly. I doubt it though.



  1. What a complete and utter shit he is. Obviously he's had his fill of strippers etc and now is honing in on his team mates wives. As you say, sadly she'll probably forgive him, if she's smart she may take him to the cleaners. But there's something just so unsportsmanlike about it that gets me. These are his team members! Bloody disgrace. Great post.

  2. Well written post. Fame and money goes to their heads and the lifestyle puts them on the front page. The footballers don't do too bad either. If you ask me, they need their salaries capped, and they need to stop taking the piss out of the people who have helped them get that million pound lifestyle in the first place. They're a bloody disgrace to those who are struggling to make ends meet, in order to feed and clothe their much loved families.

    CJ xx

  3. Well said. I hope she does divorce him, then maybe the others will sit up and think. I wonder, though, if one lives that lifestyle, how hard it is to leave it. It's not my cup of tea but those WAGs do seem to be a fairly shallow lot.

    As to what I would do, I think I agree with you. A one night stand is unlikely to be a one off and an affair is so very different. I think it's hard to know until one has walked in the shoes - if you see what I mean.

  4. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to go through this as a none famous person but to do it in the press like this. Urgh. As for your questions about whether to forgive or not, when should you etc, i have no idea. i really hope i never have to find out.

    I think fear must pay a huge part in the forgiveness because once the anger has subsided, the fear of it all disappearing, the love, the time you have spent together, the family unit for kids, all that, must be terrifying.

  5. Maybe she has many other men and is glad hes not pestering her for sex all the time.

  6. Well argued post. I'm not wasting any sleep over John Terry, Ashley Cole or their ilk - they all seem nasty, spoilt overpaid chauvinist men. It's not just footballers either. Every time an MP hits the headlines for philandering, TV chef, or an American President (Clinton anyone?) there's the obligatory photocall with the little wifie standing beside them.

    I really don't know what I'd do. I don't think I'd know until it happened, god forbid.

  7. Well said! Unfortunately it seems to go with the territory; these men need their egos massaged constantly and if some glamour model wannabe pays them a bit of attention, then they're trousers are whipped down faster than you can say 'Will you read me a bedtime story daddy?'.
    I wouldn't swap my humble life for that of a WAG - I don't think I'd be able to sleep at night.

  8. Well said! Footballers seem to have an inbuilt adultery gene of some kind, when are they gonna learn?

  9. The thing is about us women-folk being all strong and 'don't you put up with that' is that ...... is it that strong? Unfortunately I HAVE walked in those shoes and despite murderous thoughts, imagined voodoo dolls and 'I'm not a victim' bravada - I also thought to myself 'I'm damed if that evil bitch-whore is going to 'win'. What would be much more fun is to appear serene, caring even but definitely 'off the menu' and totally functioning without him until he (and everybody else for that matter) bloody realises how fucking fantastic I am and how manipulating and rancid she is. It took a while, was horrendous, (plus other issues in there too that I won't bore you with) and lots of not-being-very-serene-at-all but in the end the ultimate decision was MINE. When I started on my 'campaign' I had no intention of ever getting back together - but we did - and it doesn't feel like I'm the nice forgiving little drudge but more the victor in an albeit unnecessary game. I feel I didn't just throw my history down the toilet just because it was expected of me as a some mythical independent strong 'modern woman'. And maybe 'we' shouldn't read all books by their tabloid-contaminated covers - there's always another angle that we'll never know about.

    Having said all that, voodoo dolls would have been very cathartic if I'd let myself - it was very hard work being 'not dragged down to HER level' and I still would love to see her under a bus. It still sort of surprises me that I targeted all my anger at her - it's the betrayal of another female (especially a so-called 'friend'!) that burns so much more than the 'tut' of an almost inevitable male disappointment. As his brother said at the time about a little bit of flirting '...that's all it takes. Us men are so easily reeled in...' (or words to that effect). It's not that they are all to be excused as cheeky little tykes, but they aren't very bright about emotions etc. And we are much, much cleverer. And the vampire slut was cunning and clever. But I was much, much cleverer than her in the end - I got to choose my own ending to the story. She has to watch her back.

  10. Great post, footballers have always been this way. Now it seems that they have almost got s license to behave as they wish. But I think as they earn so much and are in the public eye as role models to young boys they should be held responsible for their actions.
    My son cannot believe the fuss.. he has just has an affair he says. If he was in politics he would have resigned so I think he should so so here.
    Its the kids I feel for x

  11. Fascinating question! I always tended to think the opposite: that a one night stand would be easier to forgive than an affair. After all, the latter presupposes some emotional attachment, some desire to spend precious time with another person and so on. I think I'd find that harder, in some ways. Before that's taken as a defence of the one-nighter, I should point out that I've not been there (not while married, anyway)! And I've not had an affair, although my first wife did.

    You hit the nail on the head though, when you talk about these guys spending Saturday nights out without their wives. That's the problem, surely? And these guys can all afford a babysitter.

  12. I like MadameSmokinGun's approach, that's the way to go. A affair doesn't necessarily mean the end of the relationship although you do need to understand why it happened.

    Overpaid, overworshipped sports stars think they can do what they like. They want a trophy wife and children and they also want to shag about at the same time. If that's what the wife signed up for then I suppose it's ok. But I'm sure she didn't and it would be great to see him dumped and put in his place. The tragedy is there are children involved.

  13. I think that money gives them the illusion that they can do what they want, when they want, with whom they want. it is a disease of todays sociaty. Woman and girls go out to snare themselves a footballer, being a WAG is a career move these days adn you know what a lepord doesnt change its stops. Most woman know what they are getting in to with a footballer. What worries me is that these blokes become role models for children. I am hoping my boys have more sence!

  14. I am incensed by his appalling behaviour. If he doesn't lose the england captaincy it will be a disgrace and will taint my support for the team.

    I'm sure they do get tempted, but as you so rightly say, they shouldn't put themselves in temptations way.

    As for what I would do I think I'm a little peculiar. A one night stand I could forgive and lose little sleep, but an affair would be harder. Sex and love are very different things. I agree that a one night stand is more likely to be repeated, but it's just sex...

    I think an affair is more about love, and I would struggle to get over that. But I am also supremely competitive and would equally struggle to allow another woman to take something of mine. Thankfully my OH never gives me any concerns in either department.

  15. I'm so sick of men having affairs or flings and then suggesting that its somehow their partner's fault ... they are the one that stepped across the line, not everyone does that

  16. Good post, I was just thinking about this very subject this morning. I think these footballers are all paid far too much and end up thinking they are in a world of their own and that normal life rules do not apply to them! not so! Mich x

  17. Takes two to tango! She shagged her pregnant friends husband! Shame on both of them! D

  18. Why do the wives do the standing by their man photos? Even if they do decide to forgive (but they NEVER forget), at last tell him to do the bloody photo by himself and see how embarrassed he feels. Money, football, fame and fidelity do not go hand in hand!

  19. Madame Smoking Gun - so sorry you had to walk this path but pleased that things turned out for you the way you wanted.

    The Dotterel & Geriatric Mummy - I see your point of view about the one night stand v the affair, I guess we will all tolerate different things at the end of the day, although I did say it would depend hugely on who the affair was with as to whether I could forgive.

    Dymphna - I am in no way forgetting or absolving the other woman and you are right it takes two to tango.

    Everyone else - sorry to band you all together but just wanted to say thanks for adding your opinions, I am looking at getting a different commenting system that makes it easier to reply to you all individually.