I've just rushed to change the Sky radio over from Radio 1 to Radio 2 because I can't abide Fearne Cotton, she's too chirpy and well quite frankly - young! I am rewarded instantly by Ken Bruce playing an old Pet Shop Boys number and I am eagerly looking forward to Pop Master.
OH MY GOD! Somebody shoot me now!
I know that age catches up with you slowly but when you look back it seems like those years have been viscously stolen by some passing mugger. Surely it was only yesterday that I was out 'raving' all weekend. Surely it was just a couple of years ago when I saw Stones Roses at Spike Island? Is it really so long ago that I could wear a mini lycra skirt without looking like Liz MacDonald. Is it? About 20 years ago so... Yes!
I've been invited to a hen night in May, I feel obliged to go as it's t'husband's best mates wife to be and she came on mine to Berlin. It's in Birmingham, nice hotel, Japanese meal, few drinks etc with a spa facial the next morning, all good although I pity the poor girl who has to work on my pores after a night on the lash. The thing that worries me the most is the obligatory nightclub. Gah, firstly I doubt I'll still be awake after knocking back a few Pinot Grigios during the night and secondly it'll be full of young fillies in all their hair-straightened and faked tanned glory. I don't know how they do it, it must take them about a month to apply that many layers of mascara.
I am already thinking up excuses of how I can slip back to the hotel before I hand over an extortionate amount of money to fall asleep in a corner whilst dribbling to BassHunter. I wonder if I can persuade them back to a quite corner of the hotel bar where I can wobble back to my room quietly, without having to embarrass myself by trying to dance to toons I've never heard of in heels I can't even stand in.
Is there an age limit for nightclubs, how old do you have to be for it to be uncool to be seen in a nightclub? I'm sure I must be about there.
16 comments:
I think you can stop going to night clubs when you feel like you're someone's mum come to take them home for school in the morning!
Oh I'm so passed it now, the thought of a Hen's night like that would bring me out in a rash the spa-lady would shudder at.
I think Ellen has hit the nail on the head: thank you for providing me with a proper excuse.
WTF are Basehunter?????? I too now listen to Radio 2, It is more suitable for an oldie like me, plus I think the songs are better for the littleones!!
I'm so past the night club thing now. I was in a body shape class the other day and all this thumping dance music was blaring out and I thought "I'm so pleased I don't have to dance to this in a club now" - it was bad enough trying to be co-ordinated in the class! I'd be just like you wanting to head back to the hotel bar and sneaking away to lie in lovely crispy hotel sheets!
The thought of a night club makes me shudder! I like to be tucked up in bed by 11pm at the latest and that's on a special night!
Have fun.
Definitely sneak away. Oh, the horror! The thought of it just makes me wonder what on earth I enjoyed about nightclubs when I did go.
This has hit me recently - when did I suddenly become middle aged
Am now worried about trying to dress too young for my age
Yup - I know just how you feel. Radio 4 all the way for me. Fearne Cotton too chirpy whatever time of day. I'm so over nightclubs but I surprised myself by going to a few music festivals last year (kids in tow) and enjoyed them. They weren't full of bright young things either. The hen do sounds nice (japanese, spa- great)until the nightclub bit. If it was me, I would definitely put in an appearance and then slink away.....and if you're talking about The Stone Roses I know I'm definitely older than you!
Ha ha! I must have been ahead of my time because I've never liked clubs. And the Stone Roses at Spike Island? I lived close enough to hear the whole thing whilst sitting in my back garden. Yes, 20 years ago!
Funny this - I'm off to Barcelona tomorrow morning with 19 other women for a friend's 50th!!!! I've been advised by Big Bro (28 year old son) NOT to go clubbing as the new cougar craze for young men looking out for 50 + women is huge, especially in Spain and Italy.....I can't think of anything worse. I'm always up for a giggle, but I will sneak away before I turn into a pumpkin at 12 and hope the others are too lashed to notice!!!
Thank God for Radio 2 - Jeremy Vine's lunchtime phone-in is my personal fave. I can't allow myself to go to hen nights, or even to stay out after 11, these days, because when I've had a skinful I completely forget I'm 40 and I attempt Beyonce moves on the dancefloor (picture it: bingo wings jiggling, cellulite undulating...). God, I'm having a flashback to my friend's wedding last year. Oh, the shame!
I'm not sure I've ever been to a nightclub, and I sure wouldn't like to start now. What you need is valium, or "the flu."
The idea of having to go to a nightclub fills me with dread. i wasn't that good at them when young and feckless, I don't think i could stomach one now. A meal sounds nice, lots of wine and chat, that's more my kind of thing.
Good luck.
Radio 2 all the way for me. The occasional dalliance with Woman's Hour on Rad 4 is allowable but much more than that and I feel like I'm going to have to have intensive Anarchy in the UK therapy. Rad 1 makes me want to kill. Rad 2 sits nicely in the middle - cosy enough to keep the equilibrium without feeling like I've become all that I despise.
Nightclubs - be outrageous - drink fizzy water and pretend it's neat gin - wear bubble-gum pink latex and leopard-skin and smeared scarlett lipstick and chat up all the little boys - they'll run back to their mummies and you can go back to your hotel room with a big bubble bath and plenty of stories of youth abuse for your next blog. The next morning you'll be on the pedestal of Worst Behaved Mummy and will never be invited again. Then soak up the pampering with reasonably clear head - 'Ta ta and thanks for all the fish' and you're away. Such fun.
Wow - and I thought it was just me measuring my age by my radio habits!
Sneak away, sneak away! How about priming someone to phone you at a certain time & then you can nip off to take the call and get your 8 hours zzzzzs. That's what I'd do! Keep us posted!
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