Sunday, September 6, 2009

Postcards from Catalunya to so and so…

*Disclaimer* nowhere near as good as these from Brit in Bosnia or these from 3 Bedroom bungalow.

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Dear Maternity Bra Makers

Please could you make a bra that isn’t so full in the cup, I would like to be able to wear a scoop or v-neck top without showing the world my hideous bra.

Yours in hope of being able to show these new puppies off.

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Dear Manager of the Local Mercadona Supermarket

Please, please, pretty please, can you start stocking the Irish Mature Cheddar again, and oh maybe the Colman’s sauces, not all of them, just the Horseraddish, Mint and English Mustard.

Yours googling bad words in Catalan to paint on a placard.

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Dear Body

You are only 6 weeks pregnant not 6 months, please slow down your growth rate.

Yours pleadingly

Bathroom mirror

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Dear Neighbours below,

May we have the many balls that J has thrown off our terrace onto your balcony below back please. Especially the Little Einstein’s one.

Yours gratefully

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Dear French Bloke of the X-factor

Seriously! What were you thinking?

Yours exasperatingly

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Dear J,

Please sleep tonight. All night! Mama is very tired.

Love you sweetie

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Dear Sister,

Have been meaning to ask but how many of your 794 friends on Facebook do you actually know?

Yours enquiringly

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Dear In-laws

I know you’ll guess that I’m pregnant seeing as I won’t be drinking but can you be really nice and pretend not to notice, don’t go overboard though and tell me I’ve lost weight or anything because, I’ll know that you know, that I know, that you know, that I know, blah blah blah

Yours expectantly

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Dear Next

Please can you sort out your payment system so I can order stuff and pay with my Spanish debit card that really doesn’t have a security code attached to it, if all else fails do what all other high street stores do and use Paypal for overseas customers.

Yours needing to burn a whole in t’husband’s pockets




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6 comments:

  1. Love them! So jealous that you even occasionally get mature cheddar cheese in the supermarket. Get googling those naughty catalan words, you need it back!

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  2. I always stuck to breastfeeding bras, because they do the same job, and I got some very nice ones from M&S. (It was worth the international travel just for that.)

    My sister is a Facebook whore, too.

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  3. Keep meaning to ask all my friends on Facebook how many of them actually know me. (Not in the biblical sense, you understand, but even so...)

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  4. I think I may be a Facebook Whore!!!


    some of them even know me in the biblical sense!! (SHIT!!)

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  5. I hope J does the right thing.

    May I suggest babelfish.com?

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  6. Love these post cards! Very amusing :o)
    Got an award for you over at mine...

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